Lesson #7 – Drive
March 1st, 2007 by Mark Flanders
Lately, I’ve been all over the place (physically, but mostly mentally). This started not too long ago when I did something that went completely against my plan. More importantly, it went against the grain, against who I am and what I want for my life and business. I knew it almost immediately. Funny thing was, I actually knew it before I even did it. Yet, I did it anyway because of some crazy feeling of obligation or guilt.
Have you compromised yourself or watered yourself down in any area of your business? For example, have you been in a business situation where you walked away feeling like you settled for less or compromised your integrity? You may be thinking, “I don’t sell out. I’ve never compromised or sold out.” If you haven’t, you are unique. It’s completely normal to compromise yourself or be out of integrity from time to time. We all are.
Instantly, I knew what I had been doing wrong. I had moved into the passenger seat. This lack of authority on my part had started dripping over into other areas of my life and business. I felt completely out of control and simply forgot that I could (and should) be driving. If I didn’t take control, nothing else would matter.
For me, driving means a lot of things:
- Keeping a daily journal so that I start regaining my clarity,
- Exercising and eating better so that I have more stamina,
- Getting more organized so that I don’t feel so scattered,
- Getting a handle on my time so that I accomplish the most important things, and
- Getting a handle on my business so that it moves in the direction I want it to go.
The first few things keep me physically able to drive , and the last one is like my map that keeps me moving in the right direction.
This week, I’ve been re-routing my trip, since I seem to have gotten off course. I’m deciding exactly which way I want to go with every aspect of my business. Fortunately, I have a trusty navigator helping me (Thanks, Betsy!). Together, we’re mapping out the best possible route to my destination.
In doing so, I have to keep one thing in mind, the visual image of what I want from my business and from my life. I also have to remember who I am and mold my business to fit me and my style and personality, instead of the other way around. That means, I may have to turn away some business, and I may have to tell someone no, but that’s okay. Another quote that stood out to me from Michael Port’s book was this:
“The greatest strategy for personal and business development on the planet is bold self expression.”
That means, I’m going to drive in my kind of car, going where I want to go, playing my kind of music on the radio (and loudly, I might add).
I have to stay in the driver’s seat.
Sometimes, I may have to pull over and check the map, but that’s okay, too. In the end, I’ll be where I want to be, still driving down the road, and hopefully enjoying some nice scenery.
“When customers have a problem and you fix it, they’re actually going to be even more satisfied than if they never had a problem in the first place.” This comes from the fact that we are conditioned to expect crappy customer service, so “crappy” has become “average.” If we, as Customer Service Providers are given the opportunity to make “good” of a situation, then we now have the potential of having a “fanatically devoted customer, one who will prattle on and on about what a great job you did.”
Of course you are not perfect. No one is and no one expects that anyone else is. So, pleeeeease, apologize and take the blame – even if it is only a little bit your fault. If the closing does not go as hoped for, I’m sure that there was something that you could have done or not done to make it go a bit easier? If the house does not sell, maybe there was some market research, seller counseling, marketing efforts… that you could have done a wee bit more of? If you are late, I bet you could have left early enough accommodate any unexpected traffic mishaps? I’m not saying that you should make everything ALL your fault, but own up to anything that you could have done better. People respect that, WAY more than finger pointing. It shows honesty and integrity – 2 things that are absolutely crucial in our business.
Joel says it best: “You can never win these arguments, and if you take them personally, it’s going to be a million times worse… There is only one way to survive angry customers emotionally: you have to realize that they’re not angry at you; they’re angry at your business, and you just happen to be a convenient representative of that business.”
What if you didn’t care about making friends? What if you didn’t care about developing relationships for future business? What if you didn’t care about losing current business? How would you talk to people? What if you were free to give your honest to goodness opinion without any concern for negative consequences?
A little kid will flat out say that someone’s breath stinks of cigarettes or grandpa talks crazy after a few drinks. They don’t do it to be mean. They just tell it like they see it. The truth might hurt at first but I bet things are done immediately to change the problems. Is this not better than avoiding the truth and allowing the person to continue to unknowingly offend more people? 
Jim Carey had a movie named Liar, Liar. I didn’t watch all of it but the premise was that he could do nothing but tell the truth when he spoke. It made for some really funny scenes. It made me wonder what life would be like if everyone was like that.
I walked the 900 block of N. Belnord Avenue last summer. It was my first and only time there. Located in the abandoned core of Baltimore City, it’s both ghetto and waste land. Most readers wouldn’t stand where I stood that morning. I’m no longer afraid; I’ve been to hell and back. I went to visit one of the foreclosed properties that led to my incarceration in a federal prison. Most properties on the block have windows and doors covered by boards. There’s graffiti on walls and artistic memorials honoring dead gang-members. The place was a community once; a place where families thrived. Now it’s a market-place for drug dealers.
Following a presentation that I recently gave to a group of attorneys, I was approached by a member of the audience and told sarcastically: You’re no Frank Abagnale! That’s the point! There’s nothing exciting or glorious about my story. Movie rights aren’t being negotiated. My greatest sin was cowardice, not greed. Real estate fraud is accomplished in secrecy through a series of minor actions that sometimes seem justifiable, yet always veiled by deceit. An occasional breach of judgment gave way to a pattern of disturbing behavior on my part. My complacency became anticipated and expected. My actions created an environment that did nothing to deter wrong doing. Even though I knew that it was the right thing to do; the only thing to do; I failed to confront this man and use the word “No” only because he was an important and predictable source of business. 
